My Journey with Motherhood So Far

Today as I struggled to have patience with my very cranky boy, I found myself slipping into a very bad mood thinking on all that I wasn't getting done and how I just wanted some quiet to myself. It amazes me how quickly I can do this! It's embarrassing really. I mean, come on, this poor little boy is crying to be held because he doesn't feel good and needs me...he needs me...and I am frustrated with him! This is not the first time I have come to this realization. It happens all too often.

It has been encouraging to know I am not alone in this journey, to know other moms have had their share of frustration and weariness. The fact is I'm not perfect and never will be. I'm human. I'm a sinner. I forget that the world doesn't revolve around me and my desires. This all makes motherhood very difficult some days because, well, it's not about me. I have to put Micah's needs first now-- and he needs a lot of help! He isn't able to wait to eat like I can, he can't control his bodily functions like I can, he can't push through the day when he's tired like I can, he isn't able to tough it out when he's in pain like I can,...he is completely dependent on me for his physical and emotional needs.

Micah needs me, and I want to care for him with all the energy and love I have within my being. God has given me the great responsibility and privilege of raising this child, teaching him and training him, guiding him, and nurturing him. He is using me to show Micah His love, the love that surpasses my human limitations, the love that penetrates our hearts and allows us to love and serve others selflessly. It's this love that allows me to be a GREAT mom. I will never have it all together but I can still be a wonderful mother by relying on God's strength and wisdom, by looking to Him as the ultimate example of love. I don't want to rely on my own strength and pretend I have it all together. What's the point? Micah will see me on my good days and my bad days. He will take the brunt of my bad days at times. It's sad but true... But the beauty is that Micah's understanding of love will not rest entirely on me and my weaknesses! He has a perfect Love to look to...and this gives me great relief and hope as a mother!

I am proud to be Micah's mommy and know God has great plans for me as a mother. I will end my reflections with a quote a friend sent the other day (thanks Abby!) that served as a wonderful reminder that I can stand proud in my job of being Mom.

Who can measure the long-term effects of nurturing helpless infants, supervising wandering toddlers, discipling self-willed children, and counseling self-absorbed adolescents? Of family outings planned, traditions built, memories made, books read, songs sung, Scripture taught? That’s why motherhood belongs under the heading, “Engage the World”; no one shapes generations or fashions cultures more than mothers. ~ Jeff Purswell, Worldliness, (edited by C.J. Mahaney, p. 159).