My Journey with Motherhood So Far

Today as I struggled to have patience with my very cranky boy, I found myself slipping into a very bad mood thinking on all that I wasn't getting done and how I just wanted some quiet to myself. It amazes me how quickly I can do this! It's embarrassing really. I mean, come on, this poor little boy is crying to be held because he doesn't feel good and needs me...he needs me...and I am frustrated with him! This is not the first time I have come to this realization. It happens all too often.

It has been encouraging to know I am not alone in this journey, to know other moms have had their share of frustration and weariness. The fact is I'm not perfect and never will be. I'm human. I'm a sinner. I forget that the world doesn't revolve around me and my desires. This all makes motherhood very difficult some days because, well, it's not about me. I have to put Micah's needs first now-- and he needs a lot of help! He isn't able to wait to eat like I can, he can't control his bodily functions like I can, he can't push through the day when he's tired like I can, he isn't able to tough it out when he's in pain like I can,...he is completely dependent on me for his physical and emotional needs.

Micah needs me, and I want to care for him with all the energy and love I have within my being. God has given me the great responsibility and privilege of raising this child, teaching him and training him, guiding him, and nurturing him. He is using me to show Micah His love, the love that surpasses my human limitations, the love that penetrates our hearts and allows us to love and serve others selflessly. It's this love that allows me to be a GREAT mom. I will never have it all together but I can still be a wonderful mother by relying on God's strength and wisdom, by looking to Him as the ultimate example of love. I don't want to rely on my own strength and pretend I have it all together. What's the point? Micah will see me on my good days and my bad days. He will take the brunt of my bad days at times. It's sad but true... But the beauty is that Micah's understanding of love will not rest entirely on me and my weaknesses! He has a perfect Love to look to...and this gives me great relief and hope as a mother!

I am proud to be Micah's mommy and know God has great plans for me as a mother. I will end my reflections with a quote a friend sent the other day (thanks Abby!) that served as a wonderful reminder that I can stand proud in my job of being Mom.

Who can measure the long-term effects of nurturing helpless infants, supervising wandering toddlers, discipling self-willed children, and counseling self-absorbed adolescents? Of family outings planned, traditions built, memories made, books read, songs sung, Scripture taught? That’s why motherhood belongs under the heading, “Engage the World”; no one shapes generations or fashions cultures more than mothers. ~ Jeff Purswell, Worldliness, (edited by C.J. Mahaney, p. 159).

A Series of Unfortunate Events

This weekend brought one catastrophe after another! I, Brianne, was responsible for each...no surprise there. Fortunately, they did not lead to personal injuries. Most brought laughter and as a result, I decided to document each unfortunate event of the weekend. I feel I am taking my klutziness to a whole new level lately!

#1 It all started with Micah's breakfast when I spilled half the bowl of oatmeal in my lap. I didn't want to waste it so...


#2 Baking squash for Micah did not go as planned. I realized half way through baking that I had managed to place the squash in the pan on top of a plastic lid. How did I not see the blue lid???


#3 When making room for my pureed food in the freezer, I knocked a container of sausage out and it smashed to the floor, cracking the container's bottom.


#4 This is a picture of everything in our closet. Why is it not in our closet? Well, after the entire closet shelf collapsed at my fingertips, Tim was forced to create all new shelving. His Saturday plans did not involve physical labor, but he was a great sport and went all out to create us really nice shelves. What a guy.


Nice, huh?

So Long February... Hello Spring??

The month of February passed so quickly...so quickly I didn't make a single post! It was a good month here in the Gates household. We started off the month celebrating the Steelers Super Bowl victory and my birthday. Tim and I had a dinner and shopping date while Poppy watched Micah. What a treat!

The following weekend I had my second piano recital. It was so rewarding to see my students play in front of a crowd with such confidence and excitement. The church we rented was absolutely beautiful and had amazing acoustics.

For Valentine's Day, we took advantage of the opportunity to go on another date-- I felt so spoiled! Tim and I met up with Dave and Caitlin at Coyote Crossing for some delicious mexican food and then came back to our place to play some Wii tennis and bowling. Good times.

Tim then headed off to Lake Tahoe to work for NBC and I joined my parents in visiting Sean and Emily for the weekend. It is always entertaining to be around Aidan and Liam; I am excited for the day when the three boys can all play together. For now, they each spend most of the day completely oblivious to what the other is doing.

Once back in Reading, Mom helped me get started with my sewing machine (Christmas gift from my parents) and I made my first Taggies blanket... and I must say I did a pretty darn good job. I now have all the basic essentials in my sewing kit and am excited for future projects.

As for Micah, he seems so much older since the last post. He is now sitting up without any assistance and loves to be in this position most of the day. He is more cooperative with tummy time but I don't think he would tell you he enjoys it. He is content to sit and play with his toys... and gives a cry of desperation when they are no longer within his reach. Micah is finally giving us some laughs though he sure does make us work for them; I'm not sure if he is just a silent laugher or a more serious kid. We get plenty of gummy smiles though along with some very wet "kisses." At the rate he's eating, I'm not sure how he stays so small; he must have his daddy's metabolism. As for other milestones, he is babbling a lot more and grabs at everything within his reach. He loves to be moving, whether that be in his walker, the stroller, the doorway jumper, or standing on our laps. His favorite toys right now seem to be tupperware, remote controls, and a ball popping toy. He continues to love being outside so we are certainly anxious for Spring!...is it we close??

Below are some photos from the past month. Enjoy!

waving the terrible towel... and making Daddy proud

All bundled up for a walk

homemade "taggies" blanket

"where's my music?"

future pianist

micah loves his teething crackers

having fun with Daddy

out for a walk in town-- loving the warm weather!

6 Months and Counting

We have been blessed with Micah's presence for 6 months now. Time sure does fly with little ones! He has changed so much and can do so much more these days. It is amazing to look back at photos of his first 3 months and see how much Micah has grown. He's still long and lean but definitely much plumper than he used to be. 

Micah is starting to exert his own will which has been a bit scary at times--I fear his protest screams just might blow my ear drums some day!-- but overall he continues to be a very happy and social little boy. He is a champion eater and sleeper, loves to be with people, and continues to be very active. Micah's favorite activity, as far as I can tell, is jumping in the doorway bouncer. He smiles and squeels with delight.  He also loves to be outdoors, even in the cold weather. Micah doesn't get too excited about tummy time so I don't expect him to be an early crawler...and honestly, that's okay with me. I want to savor all the time I have left in knowing he will be right where I left him!  Below are some of my favorite shots of him from the past 2 months. More photos are uploaded on Picasa at: http://picasaweb.google.com/timothygates

out for a stroll along the canal

yummy

Micah's friend "Gymbo"

C is for cookie

Micah loved looking at the lights with Poppy

First feeding

happy boy

Micah fortunately thought Liam's head pats were funny

Lookin' Fine in 2009

The new year often brings hope of some change in our lives, whether it be circumstances, commitments, or changes in habits. I have never had weight loss in mind until this year. It has been hard to accept that the baby weight is not coming off on its own. I never realized how good I had it not having to exercise to stay the same size. Well, I have now joined the majority of the human race who needs to dedicate him/herself to staying fit. Sigh. I don't know if Tim gained sympathy weight or if it's just all the extra time he has spent sitting in a chair editing, but either way he has also seen new numbers on the scale...

Soooo we decided to make a change and we are really excited about it! I know this enthusiasm may dwindle over the next month but I think the accountability to each other is certainly going to help us stick with our goals. Plus, we are making exercise fun with the Wii Fit! So far, I would say the ski slalom, hula hooping, and strength training exercises are our favorites. I love that it tracks your weight, BMI, and amount of exercise. Of course, we need to do more than just the wii to see a big change but it is certainly a great start while we are stuck indoors for winter. And the perk is we're having fun quality time together in the process!

Ho Ho Ho!

Let me start by saying that my New Year's resolution is going to be to post more to this blog...

It is hard to believe that Micah will be 5 months old on Christmas eve. It occurred to me that Christmas eve is the day Tim proposed to me 4 years ago and now it also marks another month in Micah's life...I find this to be very touching. Micah has reached a very fun age. The smiles, coos, and babbling are endless and fill our hearts with joy. We are looking forward to being with family this Christmas but also to being home, just the three of us, for a few days to rest. Here are some more recent photos of the little guy.

Florida Sun

I decided I should post something on here since Tim went to all the trouble to put it together...It's hard to believe Micah is already 3 months old! So much has changed. We enjoy his contagious smiles and coos and love to watch him pump his legs and arms with excitement. We recently visited my grandparents in Melbourne Beach, Florida. Micah did great with his first flight; it really was a piece of cake. What a relief! Tim worked for the DewTour in Orlando for most of the week while Micah and I chilled by the pool and took walks to the pier. It was very relaxing, At the end of the week, I went up to Orlando and was able to watch the skateboard finals with Tim. I felt a little out of my element in that crowd of fans but it was a lot of fun nonetheless.